People say the CRAZIEST things to you when you are pregnant. It’s as if all social couth goes out the window and anything goes. I believe people must think that the growing belly acts as a forcefield or filter so the words don’t reach us and hurt our feelings. When actually, this is the time when what is said should be watched since we are filled with the MOST HORMONES EVERRRRRRRR.
This second pregnancy, I knew what to expect when I became visibly pregnant to others. The comments from other people don’t surprise me or get under my skin as much as they did the first time around. If anything, I find more humor in them 🙂 It also makes me want to give a bigggggg hug to and shelter all of the first-timers out there who are getting unsolicited comments/advice.
I received a couple “doozies” this week, but also received some loving/life-giving comments which inspired me to write about how it is important to speak “life” to each other, not negativity. It doesn’t matter if someone is pregnant or not, this is something that should be done no matter who you are or what season of life you are in.
This week I have walked away from conversations feeling blah and wondering what just happened. I have also walked away from others feeling happy and confident. The difference between the two sets of feelings were what words were spoken to me. Now I know that I can’t base my life and happiness on what others say, but words do have a short term influence on my mood (I’m not the only one, right?). Noticing the power of words this week has been pretty convicting and has made me want to pay more attention to the words I choose to speak to others.
I have had so much support and love during this (and my first) pregnancy, I just want that to be known. But after the support, more than anything the most popular comments have been along the lines of “Whoa! With that age difference you are going to be so busy and have your hands so full!” Mmmmmmkay, thanks. (These are the times when I wish I was from the south and could get away with a sarcastic “Bless your heart!”)
Yesterday on Instagram, a sweet girl Arielle told me how her youngest two are 17 months apart and how much she LOVED that. She is a mom of three little ones, and she was so positive and loving about her kids. It was such a simple thing to say, but it was something I needed to hear after hearing so much negativity. One simple, sweet thing changed my mood and perspective yesterday. See how much weight our words hold?
Of course there are going to be hard times, but that would happen regardless of age-difference, how many kids someone has/doesn’t have, etc. I’ve had tough, stressful times before even having kids. And you know what? I survived. You know what doesn’t help? Bringing up all the possible negatives that haven’t even happened yet. I saw a quote at my yoga class the other day that stuck with me… “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Soooooo true. So, since I cannot control what others say, I am going to make sure to watch what I say to others. Maybe if someone hears me speaking life, they will do the same to others.
Have a wonderful day! xo